I was walking back and forth in my dorm’s elevator when I noticed the slight, contented ache of a good day of walking in my legs. In that moment, I thought all of the ropy muscles in my thighs, calves, and feet, imagining them straining and relaxing, bunching themselves up and stretching themselves out with every step or shift of weight. The fact that I can do something like walking is amazing. Each muscle works perfectly with the others so easily that I don’t even have to think about what to do with each one and what’s pulling what in which direction.
Our bodies are absolutely fantastic. I can’t even… just think of the complexity of it for a second. There are so many different systems in the body, with the brain controlling the whole thing, and everything works together in delicate balance in order for us to even function. It’s a miracle that we work so much of the time, really. It’s beautiful, the way that we’re so specifically and perfectly knitted together. I think this is part of the reason why I’m still struggling with the decision to be premed or not, because I’m so drawn to the magnificent beauty of the human body (more on this later, probably).
I was lying in bed this week, trying (somewhat fruitlessly) to fall asleep, when I slid my hand over my own heart and just felt my heartbeat for a while. As I focused, I could feel it fluttering there in my chest, keeping me alive, pumping with each beat. I noticed how one side beat harder than the other, how it was stronger on the left side than the right. I could feel it sending my blood shooting out into my extremities, pulsing and circulating throughout my entire body and reaching my fingers until I felt the heartbeat in my hand and my chest.
But my first impression struck me the most. As I lie there with my hand over my heart, I was suddenly reminded of a memory. When I was younger, we found a tiny gray-and-white kitten that we brought home for a few short weeks before realizing that it was much too young to be with us. We named it Mischief and cared for it very carefully, holding it, giving it baths, and giving it a stuffed animal to snuggle with at night. As sad as my brother and I were to see the kitten go, we were glad it was back with its mother.
I remember holding Mischief to my chest, one hand underneath him and the other keeping him close. As he nestled into the folds of my t-shirt, I could feel his tiny heartbeat in my fingers. The skin, bone, and fur that separated his heart from my hand seemed paper-thin, and I could feel every quick beat through his delicate ribcage.
As I lay in bed, my own heart felt like that. I felt so… vulnerable. I was suddenly aware of my own fragility and of the delicacy of the thin layer of material that guards that organ that preserves my life. My life is so brief. I could be killed in a second.
It’s a marvel to be alive. Every detail is so perfectly crafted… you’re fearfully and wonderfully made. I was walking home from the library Monday night (more like Tuesday morning), praying as I trekked back to my dorm. As I looked around, and thought about these same wonders of existing, I had to stop because I realized this:
God is the God of the entire universe. He created everything in it, and designed it – I stopped for a while to look at trees. How do you even think up trees? And the form helps it stay alive as well (google photosynthesis… haha). One of the things I really love about creation, too, is the way something can be both functional and beautiful. Like our bodies.
So, God made the universe. He designed everything specifically, including us. As beings created in the image of the eternal God (!), we are the pinnacle of creation. I paused while typing that, because it seems conceited… but people are more important than animals or nature. We’re the only animals with souls. And after God created us on the sixth day, he didn’t just call us good, but very good.
And this all-powerful, all-knowing Creator of everything we can and can’t see, this inconceivably wonderful and mighty God… loves us.
We can talk to Him. Just… just stop for a second. We can talk to the God of the universe. It blew my mind when I realized it. I’m so unworthy of speaking to Him. I’ve been praying for so long, and I whine and moan about tests and lost belongings and my shallow, petty feelings. It’s infinitely crazier than going to up to the President and asking him to scratch that itch on your back that you can’t reach, or help you clean out your fridge or listen to you talk about your favorite TV show.
And He still listens, because He loves us so much. Even when we whine about the stupid things that really don’t matter, He lets us talk.
I think that I need to start taking prayer more seriously. Sometimes we get so carried away with the whole God-is-love, God-is-my-friend mentality that we forget how awesome He truly is. Yes, of course those things are true. But He’s also the ruler of everything, the God of everything that has been and will be, the Eternal Creator who created time itself. He holds infinite power, and He still cares about us.
That’s a little bit mind-blowing.
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“So God created mankind in his own image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.” Genesis 1:27
paradigm shifts 