At the end of last week, one of my favorite Walden employees asked me what was weighing on my mind. “I’m trying to get to know you!” he said. I realized that I hadn’t perhaps been as open as I was with people I already knew.
Here is a list about me based on some recent events:
- I’m always willing to talk to people about what they believe and what I believe; it’s excessively important and I try to be open about it. I appreciated my friends in Boston who were so genuinely interested in discussion.
- I was torn up over killing a bug because it was beautiful, and because I did it for convenience’s sake.
- I could not have conceived of a more perfect internship than Walden, where I read and wrote and sensed magic in its very walls. I found people there who understood. I didn’t want to leave.
- Journaling always makes me feel better. I wonder if it matters what I’m writing, or if the simple motion of a pen across paper would evoke the same feeling. The act of creation is restful.
- I love the show Gravity Falls; I miss my brother. The two are inseparably linked.
- Last week, I had a twenty-four hour mental gymnastics match about women in the church. I still don’t have the answers, but I trust that God loves me.
- I have to teach myself to let ideas go without writing them down (see: this list). I’m paranoid I’ll forget something deeply important.
- I have watched so much Teen Wolf lately that I try to justify it through literary analysis.
- When you move to a new place for a short time, you should logically keep to yourself in an attempt to not get attached before you have to leave again. I try to make as many friends as possible.
- I have a knack for correctly cooking terrible things; I wish it were socially acceptable to eat out alone.
- I am attuned to my body’s quirks but cannot understand its refusal to properly function. It’s immensely frustrating for me.
- Although I have felt the deepest affection for God, my understanding friends, my family, good stories, dead authors, and pet dogs, I don’t know that I’ve ever been in love.
- I like to find the possibility of magic in antique stores, strangers that look like centaurs, and the feeling of the wind.
- I love when people are expert in areas that I am not so they can teach me.
- I am sometimes careless when I drive alone; I am more cautious with other people’s lives.
- In Davis Square, I saw a newsstand made to look like a monster and sweaters kindly knitted for two statues, and these tiny things pushed my love of Boston even higher.
- I want to be seen as intelligent and insightful; I wonder how much of what I say is genuine and how much is monitored for the way that I perform myself. From something as gentle as telling jokes in a way that will make my best friend laugh to feigning knowledge of a subject, I’m guilty of this. Even this list reflects that.
- When people draw me into stories or theses with language that tickles my mind I experience the feeling that my heart is trying to push words through my mouth that I cannot speak.
- There are nineteen points because I don’t want to turn twenty.
I think I’ve changed over my time in Boston, and I wanted to perhaps find out who I’ve turned into. I hope it’s better; however, glancing over this, I definitely need to spend more time with God. Don’t I always.
Comment with small things that speak to who you are! I’d love to get to know you more.